I Never Drink Decaf Dracula T-Shirt
I Never Drink Decaf Dracula T-Shirt
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- FREE Returns
- 30 Days Guarantee
Highest Quality Products
Highest Quality Products
- Premium Quality : Super soft material for ultimate comfort.
- 100% Airlume Combed Cotton
- True to Size : Pre-Shrunk
- Wash Inside Out for Best Results
- Printed, Packaged and Shipped in the USA
Stylish UNISEX Tee: For those who love timeless tales and iconic quotes
Stylish UNISEX Tee: For those who love timeless tales and iconic quotes
Size Chart
Size Chart
100% Carbon Emission Free
100% Carbon Emission Free
Shipping and Returns
Shipping and Returns
• At this time, we only ship to the USA.
• Orders are typically shipped within 7 days of placing the order
• Once shipped, allow 2-5 days for orders to be delivered
• Our goal at FictionThreads is that you love your order. Our wearables are typically non-returnable, but please reach out to us if something isn't right.
• Incorrect, damaged, or defective items are eligible for a full refund.
• No refunds can be issued more than 30 days after delivery.
Care Guide
Care Guide
Because a literary quote this iconic deserves to look first-edition fresh.
- Wash and dry your tee inverted to keep ink as sharp as Darcy’s wit.
- Cool water + mild detergent = no fading tragedies.
- Fewer spin cycles mean fewer plot twists for the fabric.
- Line-dry whenever possible. If you must tumble, don’t pair with heavy tomes like jeans or hoodies.
- Iron inside out on low heat; never place the hot iron directly on the printed line.
Follow these steps and your Fiction Threads tee will stay vibrant long past the final chapter.
For those with dark tastes and even darker roasts, our “I Never Drink... Decaf” tee delivers gothic flair with a shot of espresso. This vintage horror-inspired design features a suave Dracula sipping from a steaming mug—his cape flaring, his smirk wicked, and his coffee definitely not decaffeinated. Blood-red bats swirl from the cup in a hypnotic vapor, sealing the deal on this hauntingly humorous shirt.
Perfect for Halloween, bookworms, baristas, or anyone who treats their morning brew like a sacred ritual. It’s a playful blend of literary horror and everyday addiction—because real monsters don’t do decaf.
Amazing Fact:
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897) never actually mentions coffee—but the Count’s infamous line “I never drink... wine” inspired this fang-tastic parody that hits a little closer to home for modern mortals.
Soft, ethically made, and printed to last through the ages (or at least several lifetimes), this tee makes a clever, stylish tribute to one of fiction’s most enduring monsters.
